Today’s Pearly Wisdom topic is:
Making Time for Hubby
I really enjoyed reading all of the Mama’s tips on this one. It can be difficult for sure; since by the time the
monster toddler goes to bed for the night, all you want to do is crash on the couch. However sharing a nice quiet (albeit, later than usual) dinner is a way to spend some quality alone time, catching up on each other’s day. Hubby and I also try to go on a date at least once a month!
Here’s the tips from other Mama’s:
- Find a reliable babysitter (grandparents are usually the best) and make date nights a priority. They don't have to be fancy or expensive. Even just a quick bite to eat and a movie rental will do. Doing things together (without the baby) is key. It will remind you why you decided to make a baby with this person in the first place.
- Try to have conversations that don't revolve around the baby. I'm not saying you can't talk about the baby at all, but try to have conversations about the news, work, the dog, the cat, sports...whatever. Especially avoid conversations that involve baby excrement or other bodily fluids
- Make time for sex. I know you're tired and the baby isn't sleeping and you have a headache and all of that. Even a quickie will help you feel reconnected. You won't regret it! Well, you shouldn't, anyway. ;)
Samuel's prematurity and what lead us to it brought us closer than ever. A day or two a week, my mother will watch Sam for an hour or two so Mike and I can run to Target, or the grocery store or out to dinner. Making time for hubby has never been much of an issue. We feel more connected than ever.
We both enjoy having our “me time”. We are both considerate and know when the other is about to "flip". We also have wonderful families so Grayson normally spends one night a weekend with one of our parents.
My parents live close, so we have them babysit Landon so we can go on dates. We don't do it often, but now that he's not nursing every hour, I feel better about leaving him to go to a movie or dinner with my husband. We love that time and it's nice. We also hang out once Landon is sleeping at night.
-Dedicate a specific time, don’t budge from it, and be intentional. There is a little person who takes ALL your time so you have to make it. It’s not just going to happen anymore. If you don’t work for this time it will just easily slip away.
-Take advantage of grandparents as free baby sitters
-Have a date night at least once a month
- Together we try to have a date night at least once a month, where we actually leave the house for dinner or a movie or just for drinks. Our last date night was to see the Michael Jackson Immortal Cirque Show (I think we are well over due for another date night).
- We have a movie night on a Friday or Saturday night, if we don't have SIL & BIL over for dinner. We eat popcorn and sour patch kids together on the couch.
- Oliver goes to bed fairly early (7.00) so we do spend most evenings together......sometimes we just sit on separate couches and read our Kindles (in our own worlds).
- We always tell each other "I Love You" and "Your the best Dad/Mom" EVERYDAY!. I feel like it is the little things that count.
- Oliver and I also let daddy have just dad time by playing golf on the weekends, as long as he gets a VERY, VERY early T-Time and can be home for lunch to spend the rest of the day and weekend with us.
Really? I feel like the Mister & I have more time together because we spend so much more time as a family at home. Our little guy now goes down between 7:30 and 8 and that is the time we either watch our favorite shows together, sit down and talk or, on the weekends, will cook out at home and make that our date night along with a movie from Netflix. And try and make time for date nights, but again, that’s if you have family nearby.
My husband has been my greatest supporter since we had our daughter. He would help with nighttime changes and was the SAHD while I went to work. We saw each other every day and now that he's working the night shift, it's much harder on our relationship. We make it a point to be in contact most of the day, even if it's just a "hi" text when he wakes up. We don't have anyone local (within a 45 minute drive) that we can easily have babysit so we can go out so "date nights" are near impossible for us. We maximize our alone time when the baby goes to sleep though! If we both have the night off, which happens maybe once a week, we turn off the computer and tv and just pay attention to each other. Whether its showering together, reading in bed, and being intimate, that night keeps us sane. We are planning a little trip and my husband's family lives about 20 minutes away from our hotel so they are going to come watch her while we head out for dinner! I don't even remember the last time we had a baby free meal!
Thank you to this week’s contributors!
Cara, Mama to Amelia (Millie), 18 months
Shanna, Mama to Samuel, 17 months, Author of The Life and Times of Lubey
McKeever, Mama to Grayson, 15 Months, Author of The Cobia Family
Melissa, Mama to Landon, 1 year, Author of Love, Marriage, and a Baby Carriage!
Emily, Mama to Georgia, 13 months, Author of Live a Charmed Life
Gemma, Mama to Oliver, 15 months, Author of GWOK (the family life)
KW, Mama to C, 19 months, Author of Snips and Snails and Ponytails
Heather, Mama to Emmalee, 13 months, Author of Keeping Up With the Giffords